Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

What happened to the woman you once were
I find myself thinking about and missing her
Hurt, anger, rage bottled up and pushed down
Made me forget that you once wore the crown

Queen of our castle, you made our house home
You picked up the strays and those forced to roam

Nothing could destroy us, our family so strong
But what did I know, I was so wrong

In the blink of an eye, I felt my world shake
Don’t be alarmed, it’ll pass for goodness sake
After all, we were family – never to be destroyed
But twenty years later, I’m stuck with this void

Shocked and confused, unsure and so scared
My whole world changed, it seemed no one cared
You were so different, a whole new person emerged
Like a teenage girl, your electricity surged

A total transformation, a whole new world
It proved to be too much, for this little girl
So I let it all go, the life I once had
Especially after the rejection from dad

Everything’s gone, so much destroyed
Bouncing me around, my heart forms a void
You want to play, and be my best friend
But when it comes to my needs, on my own I must fend

I’ve not allowed myself to remember who you were
Or to feel the feelings I felt around her
I want to forgive, I want to move on
I want to have back the mother that’s gone

The little girl in me craves parental affection
So I push her aside in a different direction
Never be weak, don’t drop your guard
Don’t show them your hand, not even a card

Haven’t you learned these last 20 years
You can’t let them see all of your fears
They’ll leave your life, they’ll push you aside
From their life you’re cut out, as if you had died

I guess I should mourn the loss of my mom
You’re not who you were were when married to Tom
This new person you are causes my heart to bleed
Could she ever change and plant the seed

I’ll stop rambling now, I know you won’t hear it
My thoughts aren’t important, not even a bit

Love, 

Your daughter

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